Wednesday 6 May 2015

In my 20s

I wake up, get ready, get dressed nicely and yes how can I miss clicking selfies when I look good...It seems like it will be a happy day. Like a morning after dark..It's gonna be a bright bright bright sun shiny day after the rain..I promised that I wont let my worries of yesterday and tomorrow ruin my today..I promised I wont let anyone to ruin my day..I promise to be happy,no matter what happens..I am happy now and happier after thinking about all the things I have in life..,Fucking awesome friends, Cool parents, A box full of choclates..Like seriously what else someone wants??? So it will be a good day. I feel like I am one of the most beautiful and intelligent girl,,Ya  i know I m not but still I feel that way..And i am happy about that..And its all started ,the day, not a usual day but a happy day.. :)


I went to office started working . And suddenly in the middle of the day I started thinking...I started thinking about my life, about what I m doing , About staying away for home for no good reason,about my size, about the things i was not able to complete yesterday,about the text I didn't get from some xyz person, about some random shit I did 3 years back..About almost everything which is enough to make me feel worst..I am still smiling from outside,but there is mood swing brewing on the inside..But for how long someone can hold the kaleidoscope of emotions.For how long someone show that they are happy but they are not...In less the five minutes I started feeling bad about almost everything,Even the things which I want so badly also irritating me now.I feel bad about about feeling bad for no reason..,It seems like I m just finding the reason to feel worst..My mind is messed up.I feel like screaming, I feel like crying,  I feel like running, running away from everyone may be i will feel better this way.I burst into tears for no good reason..,not a single reason or may be so many reasons that i am not able to figure out why i m crying...My mood is changing like these goddamn weather of Bengaluru...May be I m homesick, May be having Fucking awesome friends, Cool parents,and the box full of choclates is not enough, May be I care way to much about people..,May be I started expecting from people..,Or most probably may be I am the girl who is in her 20's and its just that shitty hormones...Whatever it is I know that just a good night sleep and tomorrow will again be a bright happy day.!! :)