Life is not perfect , it can never be.The moment it looks all sorted, the other moment it shows how wrong you are.So here I am writing my story on how my life became messed up yet beautiful chaos.
Just the three months back when all i was thinking is I have a job , decent paying job. A partner to share food with, *giggle*. Lots of friends to hang out with and settled well in the city I like.What else someone wants to be happy. But still something was lacking to make me happy, inside out. Something I was not able to understand at that moment, something that was making my mind full chaos, something which was taking away my inner peace.
However all this materialistic things which is described as the major factor to be happy , i wanted to leave , leave everything at once and yes the day came when i realised that's not what I want ,something triggered so badly that made be to take decision to leave all this chaos which was banging my head.
I still remember every single details of that day when i left my job for absolutely no good reason and with no backup plans. The only one things i knew was I will definitely do something with my life,something good with my life , No matter what I will survive. And then I tried to break the relationship and failed .And at that time, again i was in chaos that should i be happy or sad as he never give up on me , no matter what. So i decided to skip this part and continued to share my food with him as someone said " love someone who loves you". And then the very next moment I decided to leave the city as well and yes I am leaving it with no plan.
Now , when i think about the things I did ,the decisions I took is no less then the blunders,this is no less then the chaos I had earlier but there is some kind of stillness in midst of all this chaos. I have no idea where my life is going where my relation is going but still there is certain kind of satisfaction.
I decided to live in the moment , I decided to do what makes me happy , what makes my heart happy ,most importantly what makes me alive even though my brain knows that's again a blunder I am making, still there is certain kind of comfort in it. At this moment all I want to do is to go with the flow , to embrace the chaos and to live with it.
someday I might get out of all this chaos until then , adios !
